


Obese
people: America's most prominent problem(besides South Carolina of
course).
I was in Wal-Mart today(tragically) when something
caught my eye. There was this fat black lady with the worst case of
back tits I've ever seen. It wouldn't shock me if she could
breast-feed triplets with those things. Oh and for the record, it
doesn't matter what race she was but I figured I'd point that out
since it's kind of an odd sighting to see somebody other than a bunch
of pasty-white, dental-hygiene-deprived,confederate-flag waving
hicks.
Speaking of Confederate flags, please kindly stop that
shit. I'm tired of hearing the beat-to-dead "heritage not hate"
rhetoric. News Flash: It is hate. Everything the flag stands for is
hate. It stands for the south seceding from the United States,
violently. It represents the South fighting for slavery. What is NOT
hateful about those things? Would it be okay if Germans started
waving Nazi flags because it's in their heritage?
So fucking
stupid. I'd chew your asses out in real life but I've noticed that
every time I see a Confederate flag, there's usually a shotgun
nearby. Call me a pussy, but I don't want to get shot.
While I
was staring at these seemingly god-like back-boobs, a thought
occurred to me.
20% of the world is suffering from
starvation.
14% of the world is obese.
The lady carrying
these back-boobs from god was fat enough to easily feed a family of 4
for months.
14 percent of the world is approximately
938,979,041 people.
20 percent of the world is approximately
1,341,398,630 people.
We need one person for a family of four,
making the number of fat people needed 234,744,760.
These
facts are astonishing, and I think we can all agree that it's time to
get rid of a few million people, so I say we should feed the
obese people to the starving people.
By feeding the obese
people to the starving people, we are solving the global obesity
epidemic, world starvation, and the global overpopulation problem.
Holy fucking shit. I'm a genius. Why the hell does Al Gore have a
Nobel Peace Prize and I don't? I just came up with a solution to
three global problems. What the fuck did he do? Make a movie about
global warming. What a fucking tool. Fuck you Al Gore. I'm better
than you.
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