6-30-09



Obese people: America's most prominent problem(besides South Carolina of course).

I was in Wal-Mart today(tragically) when something caught my eye. There was this fat black lady with the worst case of back tits I've ever seen. It wouldn't shock me if she could breast-feed triplets with those things. Oh and for the record, it doesn't matter what race she was but I figured I'd point that out since it's kind of an odd sighting to see somebody other than a bunch of pasty-white, dental-hygiene-deprived,confederate-flag waving hicks.

Speaking of Confederate flags, please kindly stop that shit. I'm tired of hearing the beat-to-dead "heritage not hate" rhetoric. News Flash: It is hate. Everything the flag stands for is hate. It stands for the south seceding from the United States, violently. It represents the South fighting for slavery. What is NOT hateful about those things? Would it be okay if Germans started waving Nazi flags because it's in their heritage?

So fucking stupid. I'd chew your asses out in real life but I've noticed that every time I see a Confederate flag, there's usually a shotgun nearby. Call me a pussy, but I don't want to get shot.

While I was staring at these seemingly god-like back-boobs, a thought occurred to me.

20% of the world is suffering from starvation.
14% of the world is obese.

The lady carrying these back-boobs from god was fat enough to easily feed a family of 4 for months.

14 percent of the world is approximately 938,979,041 people.
20 percent of the world is approximately 1,341,398,630 people.
We need one person for a family of four, making the number of fat people needed 234,744,760.

These facts are astonishing, and I think we can all agree that it's time to get rid of a few million people, so I say we should feed the obese people to the starving people.

By feeding the obese people to the starving people, we are solving the global obesity epidemic, world starvation, and the global overpopulation problem. Holy fucking shit. I'm a genius. Why the hell does Al Gore have a Nobel Peace Prize and I don't? I just came up with a solution to three global problems. What the fuck did he do? Make a movie about global warming. What a fucking tool. Fuck you Al Gore. I'm better than you.

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