6-26-09

Like meth in the 1990's, the phrase "Fuck my life" has spread across this nation's youth, tearing families apart and causing thousands of deaths. Well, maybe it doesn't cause deaths or tear apart families, but what it DOES do is infinitely worse: it annoys the hell out of me.

The person who pissed me off with FML today is so stupid that she's not deserving of anonymity, and I don't really give a fuck if she ends up reading this, provided she can even read, which is doubtful.

I was talking to this bitch named Jamie Kane the other day(that short little Asian chick who could give you head standing up), when she was complaining about how her mom was strict. This girl lives in the point, and has everything going for her, yet she has the audacity to complain about her mom not letting her go to the mall or something, I don't know, I was too busy trying to prevent myself from pulling my hair out in anger. Fucking bitch. She was talking about how she wanted to kill herself because she hates her life.


Let me fill you in before I move on: talking to her is one small grammatical error away from talking to a pile of dog shit. She has the intellectual capacity of a deceased ape. Never have I met anyone this stupid.

For example, one of her displays of literary savviness was: "My phone is died"


She does this in nearly every sentence with more than 3 words. I began to wonder: "if you struggle to string together a coherent sentence, what could you possibly contribute to society as an adult?"


The conclusion I came to was nothing. Think about how unfair that is. Just in general. Think about how all these babies who have the potential to live meaningful lives get aborted every year simply because their parents don't want them. Think about how many good, honest people die horrible, horrible deaths from diseases, accidents, and murders every year.


THIS girl is one of the people who survives? This stupid bitch who can't even open her mouth without substantially lowering the IQs of everyone who has the misfortune of hearing her? This stupid bitch who said she wanted to have sex with me in a shower like some kind of whore with no self-respect(this happened)? Speaking of which: attention women: men don't like whores. Close your legs for a two seconds. Having a walk-in vagina is hardly an attractive feature.


But before I lose all self-control and go pull a Robert Hawkins just to vent, I'll move on. She proceeds to say "FML" over and over again because of her mom.


Now, I really do like talking to people about their problems, and I like to help people, but when you're like her and have every luxury you could want, then I'm just simply going to tell you to fuck off.


The "FML" really sent me over the edge. She said "I want to kill myself." I completely lost it. I said to her, "You seem like the kind of person who listens to shitty mainstream pop and laughs at unfunny, watered-down comedy like Dane Cook. You have the world at your fingertips, but by taking everything for granted and trying to force this image of someone who has it rough, you end up blowing all your blessings into the wind while people who have nothing at all work their asses off to have half of what you do. If you have all these opportunities, yet you're claiming you want to kill yourself, then you might as well."


She didn't say anything to me after that, but I hope that dumbass was able to learn something from this. I know this sounds like typical parental bullshit but for the love of Christ please appreciate what you have and don't think about what you don't. Take whatever you have and make the best out of it. And stop saying "FML." just shut the fuck up.




I bet you wouldn't say FML in front of them.

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