7-10-09
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Man birthdays are the fucking worst. My birthday is on the 13th, and I dread that shit.<br><br> 

"Happy birthday Sean!"<br><br> 
 
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT<br><br> 


My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said "Nothing." On numerous occasions she asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. I said "nothing" every time.<br><br> 

Every year it's the same shit:<br><br> 


"Come on Sean, you're only xx once."<br><br> 


Yeah well news flash: You're only 1 once, you're only 2 once, you're only 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 ,10 etc once. Who gives a shit? I sure don't. I'd much rather have no one remember my birthday and spare myself the stupid songs and ass-kissing.

The only thing that a birthday represents to me is one year closer to death, and that's nothing to celebrate about.<br><br> 


I don't want presents, I don't want cake, I don't want a party, I don't want cards, and I REALLY don't want you to sing happy birthday to me.


And if anyone EVER throws me a surprise party, they're getting flogged, personally.<br><br> 


This is the same reason I hate Christmas. I don't want to buy anyone anything. I told you all I wanted nothing, yet you bought me shit anyway, so don't be disappointed when I don't send you anything in return.

<br><br> 

Thank you cards are bullshit too. What the hell is the point of wasting a stamp on telling someone thank you. I've found an alternative method that works.

I like to call it the "Telecommunications method"<br><br> 


<img src="http://static.dating-weblog.com/dating-weblog.com/imgname--does_dating_require_talking_on_the_phone---50226711--30744142.jpg" width=100 height=100></img><br>
Hey, Patrick, thanks for the Hello Kitty tampons. They're great!<br>
<img src="http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/8448/cbale.png" width=100 height=100></img><br>
Hey no problem, you stupid cunt.<br>
<img src="http://static.dating-weblog.com/dating-weblog.com/imgname--does_dating_require_talking_on_the_phone---50226711--30744142.jpg" width=100 height=100></img><br>
What?<br>
<img src="http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/1725/cbale2.png" height=100 width=100></img><br>
<br><br><br><br><br>
Now here's the same people in a thank you card scenario.<br><br>

<img src="http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/5370/cbale3.png" height=100 width=100></img><br>
Time to go check the mail. Man, I sure am glad I don't get those stupid thank you cards.<br>
<img src="http://www.twinstuff.com/store/catalog/images/egg_thank_you.jpg" width=100 height=150></img><br>
<img src="http://img131.imageshack.us/img131/4149/cbale5.png" width=100 height=100></img><br>
<img src="http://rossvross.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/american-psycho.jpg"></img><br>
<img src="http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/803/cbale4.png" width=250 height=200></img><br>
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This is why a simple thank you in real life or over the phone is sufficient. Thank you cards are bullshit.<br><br>

Sex and the City is on too and that pisses me off even more. Sex and the City is the television equivalent to being castrated without anesthesia. I wish everyone on the show would die.<br><br>

Birthdays are stupid, Christmas is stupid, Easter is stupid, Halloween is stupid. Holidays are fucking retarded. <br><br>